Log in

No account? Create an account
17 May 2010 @ 07:36 pm

Has any one of ya been haunted by something ya did in da past and it has been bugging you ever since? Little gecko has..., sometimes, he wishes he could just go back in time and do something about it to seek a closure....

Little gecko does not live wid mama gecko. However, he visits her on a bi-monthly basis. Back years ago, mama gecko has a Philippino maid known as Helen. She's great and a heaven sent, and little gecko likes her very much. Like every other maid that came to S'pore, Helen too had a story to tell... Mother of 2 kids, husband who ran away etc... such is da plight of many of da bottom rung foreigners who come to our shores to seek a better life for themselves and their loved ones...

Little gecko dropped by mama gecko's house one day to bring mama gecko out for dinner. It has been about a month since little gecko last visited mama gecko as he had been busy at work. As mama gecko wasn't back yet, little gecko decided to raid da fridge for some munchies. Sitting in da fridge was a new bar of chocolate that little gecko has never seen before. Just as little gecko removed da aluminium foil, Helen appeared and started a casual conversation wid little gecko. And so together we chatted and took a walk in da garden.

One bite of da chocs and... eeewww..., little gecko fed da balance to da family dog, Ricky.

"Oh, not nice nice ah?" Helen enquired,

It was only during da car journey back from dinner dat mama gecko revealed dat Helen had just come back from da Philippines to attend to some urgent family matters and had brought back that bar of chocolate as a gift......

Little gecko was stunned at da revelation... He did something totally unacceptible but didn't know how to make amends then. Soon however, Helen returned again to da Philippines never to return...

Sometimes in da quietness of da nite, little gecko would recall dat incident vividly... how he chatted wid Helen in da garden, how he ate dat 1 piece of choc, how he fed Ricky a few pieces of it... all in Helen's presence... Now dat she is gone, it seems there's no way to seek a closure to da matter anymore....

Sometimes in life, we intentionally or unintentionally hurt da folks around us. Do any of ya have similar stories to tell too? Relationship bonds are a fragile thing. If ya have da chance to make amends den do so; sometimes there's no second chance in life...


Current Location: lazy lizard lounge
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Little gecko stumbled upon dis site http://www.travelvivi.com/top-10-countries-with-healthy-food/ which list da top 10 countries in da world wid da healtiest cuisine.

Top of da list is Japan. Coming in at 2nd place is.... *drum roll....* Singapore!!????? Now, how was da rating done??? And even more ironical, a picture of a platter of satay complete wid peanut gravy was shown. Here in da land of plenty, where oily chicken rice, nasi lemak, oyster omelettes, rich curries, bur bur cha cha, pratas abound everywhere to cater to da cravings of every hungry lizards. Surely fats and cholestrol will follow us all da days of our lives and we will dwell in a land of lard forever... no??

Da only thing little gecko can think of dat makes our food more healthy is da spare usage of sugar in our beverages. Now, excuse little gecko while he goes slim down on a platter of satay... kekeke....
Current Location: cafe iguana
Current Mood: amusedamused
15 March 2010 @ 05:25 am
No, dis post is not about da customs of da rainforest where little gecko has called his second home. Tis about da customs officers stationed at da checkpoints and their proficiency....

Tis mango season here inside da rainforest and little gecko brought a small pack of glutinous rice from S'pore into da rainforest a week ago cos he wanted to make mango sticky rice for his factory lizards to enjoy. Upon arriving at da rainforest customs checkpoint however 3 customs officer or better known here as kastam officers stopped and warned little gecko against bringing in da glutinous rice.

"Dis is prohibited item, I can catch you in future if you bring it in again!" rattled off dis brown lady lizard....

"Huh? Since wen was it a prohibition to bring a pack of rice into da rainforest???"

"Cannot means cannot! I can catch you in future if you bring it in again!" repeated dat lady lizard. And she pointed to a banner.

"Halo lady, da sign says prohibited exports from da rainforest! If I bring rice in, it is import, not export, rite!!?? And it says no bringing out palm oil, wheat flour and sugar out of da rainforest! You know wad is export or not??"

"You bring goods out of S'pore into malaysia means export! So dis is export! I can catch you in future if you bring it in again!" WTF!!!????

"Huh?? Your country can tell my country wad is illegal to bring out from my own country?? Then show me where da word rice or beras is on the banner then! Where does it say rice??"

"Same, same, cannot means cannot. I can catch you in future if you bring it in again!" Now dat chow lizard was beginning to sound like some irritating scratched CD.... *bark! bark!*

Tis a pain in the ass to deal wid pea-brain lizards who do not know da difference b/w imports and exports. Worse are those who can arbitraryly tell ya wad is prohibited even though dey cannot substantiate it. Since little gecko commutes in and out of da rainforest ever so often, he does not wish to get into da blacklist of these kastam officers so he let da matter rests....

However, for those of ya who are interested to know wad ya can bring in or out of da rainforest, here's a site for your perusal. Again there's no mention of importing rice.... *bark! bark! bark!*

Current Location: cafe iguana
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
08 March 2010 @ 11:40 pm

Little gecko discovered dis gem of a jazz singer 3 years late...  All thanks to My Space. In case some of ya don't know, ya can hear entire music albums of any artistes across all genres on dat portal. Or search for ya favorite singer and out comes every single album that has been produced! Now little gecko just have to click on some jazz albums that he fancies and have it playing in da background all day long. Suits someone wid a slim wallet like yours truly. Kekekeke....

Speaking of jazz, meet 28yo Carl Riseley, Australia's answer to Canadian jazz sensation, Michael Buble. Born in Gold Coast, Australia and 2nd runner up in 2007's Australian Idol competition, he not only plays da cornet and trumpet, but is also a great jazz singer specializing in swing and big band. Occasionally, he does bossanova too; another genre of music dat little gecko enjoys. In fact almost every song dat Carl sings happens to be some of little gecko's fave music as well! Speaking of coincidence! Kekekeke...

Here's one of him doing a Burt Bacharach's number "This Guy's In Love With You" (Click here cos embedding's disabled)

And here's Carl doing an evergreen favorite "Tenderly"

Last but not least, enjoy one of his earlier performances during da Australian Idol competition. Performing da theme song from da classic 1971 film, Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory - "Pure Imagination" His smooth velvety voice is good enough to keep anyone company on any quiet evenings.

Current Location: cafe iguana
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: pure imagination
09 February 2010 @ 01:06 am
Dis post is a little graphic so those who can't stomach gore are advised to skip it....

Little gecko blogged about da doggie dat his viet lizards had been trying to fatten up for Chiristmas sometime ago (Click here) It was its refusal to gain any weight dat saved it from being da main entree last Christmas. However, da return of 2 of little gecko's viet lizards to Hanoi dis month called for a celebration.... and no celebration is complete without a full course doggie feast. So fat or not, da poor doggie became part of da celebration menu :o :o :o

So as usual there was da "Psst, boss ah, ya free next Saturday evening?" And da rest was understood. Kekekeke...

And so Saturday came. Work ended at 6pm as usual. And da viet lizards started looking around for their doggie. Unfortunately, it seemed to have disappeared. And da viet lizards started combing da entire industrial estate for their dinner. It attracted da attention of little gecko's fat lizard factory caretaker aunty and she instinctively knew wad was going on and decided to hang around to satisfy her curiosity. Dat really put off da viet lizards who incidentally hates her and dey decided to use her kitchen knife to butcher da mutt should find it. Unfortunately, da stupid viet lizards ended up taking little gecko's cake knife which was used 2 days earlier to cut a choc cake!! *bark* *bark* *bark*

Anyway, da mutt was found and 3 hours later, little gecko was invited back to da factory dormitory for da celebration. Imagine ya were patting da doggie dat morning and by evening it ends up on ya dinner plate :o :o Oh well, to put things in perspective, da viet lizards never played wid their food from day 1, and there's nothing unethical about eating canine meat, rite?

Tis time for little gecko to invest in a better camera phone rite? Ok, dis dish really puts little gecko off and he declined to eat any of it, even if it offends anyone. It was liver and stuffed intestine. Little gecko hates liver to begin wid and it wasn't difficult to rationalise why da intestine is all black on da inside. One can just imagine where dat mutt had been foraiging for da past few days... One of little gecko's fave viet lizards seemed to realize dis and was quick to reassure little gecko da black stuff inside da intestines was not da neighborhood's trash but  a fine blend of vietnamese spices, thai basil, rice and marinated wid generous amounts of doggie blood.... Ok, so little gecko took a piece dat has been placed in his rice bowl. It has a strange texture and da taste of basil overwhelms everything else *phew*

Here ya see bits of doggie meat and skin cooked wid generous amount of soy bean paste. Dis one goes down one's throat easily. Kekekeke.....

Dis is doggie soup prepared ala mutton soup style.  Da main spices used however are da ever popular star anise and cinammon. Da apple-like slices are actually green papayas. Da slim rib bones is testimony to how how skinny da mutt was prior to becoming dinner. Strangely, doggie meat tastes less pungent dan mutton.

Here's da usual bucket of herbs and vege dat usually accompanies any viet lizard's doggie feast. Da yellow one is some form of ginger dat's surprisingly mild wen eaten by da slices. And there's also lettuce, cilantro and mint...

Little gecko's viet lizards are resourceful and have been distilling their own wine all these years. Doggie feast however calls for da wine to be seeped in medicinal herbs as seen above. Wad little gecko din photograph is wad was later added to da wine before drinking.... Da doggie's gall bladder was slit open and out came some vile green juices which was den mixed into da liquor and drank amidst da many toasts and reciprocal toasts..

So how's da evening's food? Dun let da 2 skinny bones left on little gecko's bowl fool ya : half da evening, little gecko's mind was running wild about how strange da meat tasted and how he shouldn't be playing wid da doggie his food if he's gonna be eating it months later.

Anyway, skinny or not, da doggie yielded over 4kgs of meat which was a lot to eat even for da 10 over lizards dat came for da feast.  And by da time dinner was over, all traces of doggie head, fur and bones were assigned to one viet lizard who disposed it in some dense vegetation nearby.

Monday morning came and all da lizard aunties were wondering where dat doggie was only to receive a cheeky grin as a reply.... Kekekeke...
Current Location: cafe iguana
Current Mood: chipperchipper
19 December 2009 @ 08:20 pm

There will be no fat turkey being served here at da reptile workshop dis Christmas. Instead, dis poor doggy which little gecko's viet lizards found and 'adopted' 2 months ago will take da place of da turkey. Dey have been trying unsuccessfully to fatten it all dis while but some how dis canine seemed to be blessed wid Kate Moss genes... Kekekeke.....

Little gecko feels so sorry for da mutt. One lizard aunty quietly lured da canine to a faraway place early one morning 2 weeks ago, hoping to free it from its impending fate but somehow dat mutt managed to find its way back to da reptile workshop 5 days later *ggrrr....* Little gecko wonders if he should just sponsor a leg of ham for da meat hungry viet lizards dis Christmas instead.... Then again comes da question : why should a pig or a turkey deserves to die more dan a stray dog? Hmmm......

Current Location: Cafe Iguana
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
16 September 2009 @ 03:40 pm
Ssshhhh..... Little gecko ate some forbidden meat recently. Kekekeke..... :o

It all began wid a recent biz trip to Hanoi, Vietnam wid one of his viet lizards in tow as a translator. While on da way to da airport on da last day, we both came across a lot of restaurants touting "Thit Cho" (Ahem... doggie meat). So little gecko lamented jokingly dat tis a pity we didn't get to try da taboo meat. Den all of a sudden, da viet lizard whispered quietly to him "Pssst, boss ah.. ya sure ya wanna try thit cho??" And for da rest of da journey to da airport, little gecko was introduced to da culinary world of canine meat :o

Apparently, all da viet lizards in little gecko's industrial estate have been indulging regularly in doggie meat! Whether tis someone's birthday or someone's returning back to vietnam for good, it calls for a celebration. And no celebration is complete without... ahem, a doggie feast. So prior to any feast, all da viets would eye around for a suitable sized stray mutt. Den da unknowing dog would be lured into da factory compounds on a Sunday morning (when all da factories are closed) where it would be butchered :o :o Little gecko will spare ya da details for da time being.... So, dat's how da population of stray dogs in da neighborhood is being kept under control??!! Kekekeke....

Ok, we'd now fast forward to a few days later wen little gecko is already back to work at his reptile workshop ;p Apparently word got around dat little gecko was curious about trying out doggie meat so another one of little gecko's viet lizard crept up to him soon after and said "Pssst, boss..... ya wanna try thit cho rite? I saved a premium cut for ya already..." Kekekeke...... omg, omg, omg!!!! :o

It so happened dat some of da viet lizards' friends were heading back to vietnam for good since their working permits were expiring so it was reason enuf for another celebration. And since dey heard dat little gecko was curious, dey saved a portion of da hind leg for him ;p But where da heck did dey acquire da dog dis time???

"Ahem...., hasn't boss noticed one of da dogs we reared is missing??" Da viet lizard replied sheepishly..... *pengz......*

Little gecko has 2 dogs in his factory. One is owned by his fat caretaker lizard aunty while da other is reared by his viet lizards. Da latter was adopted as a puppy 6 months ago and all da viet lizards promised da local aunties it is not for reared for consumption but kept purely as a pet...... Ok, so now ya know ya can't trust a viet lizard to keep his word.... ;p

So one evening, after work was over at 8.15pm, little gecko hurriedly ferried da viet lizard over to his house for da forbidden feast ;p Only one request from little gecko : make sure da mutt meat is tender so one need not chew and let da imagination start running wild....
Unfortuantely, dis very viet lizard spent too much time attending to his salad to realize he had left da slices of da meat frying in da pan for a tad too long till it became very chewy like beef jerky!! *bark! bark!!*

Dat evening was like an episode str8 out of  Fear Factor. Laid before little gecko was a platter of dark meat, much darker dan beef. Ya are supposed to dip it in a special condiment of fish sauce flavored wid crushed garlic and lime juice before eating it wid a sprig of mint and cilantro. Haiyo!!! Da very thing dat little gecko requested for was da very thing da viet lizard overlooked!!  As da meat was tough and chewy, each piece had to be chewed slowly and thoroughly to separate da muscle fibers, and dats also wen ya mind starts running wild and entertain of all sorts of things!!!! Imagine, ya saw dat mutt just a week before ya left for Vietnam, and about 2 weeks later ya see it instead on ya dinner plate.... *faints*

Little gecko's heart pumped wildly like it had a caffeine overdose. But wait!!! Little gecko din do anything wrong rite? ;p

So wad was da whole experience like? Well, putting aside one's prejudice, there is really nothing wrong wid consuming canine meat. Da only reason it became taboo is because most of us think of dogs as pets and hence very much part of ourselves such dat consuming dem is like an act of cannibalism. But wad if others do not view dogs as pets den? Afterall your views may not be universally shared rite?

Little gecko feels most meat (other dan say one's own kind) is fair game (pardon da pun). If pigs can be eaten, so can a rabbit. Whoever says dat a cute animal cannot be slaughtered for meat is already guilty of prejudice thinking. Wad makes us cringe or feel taboo den is perhaps wad we've all been conditioned to think or wad we personally feel emotionally attached to...

For little gecko, he has to admit he felt a little sick in da tummy while chewing da meat not because there was anything wrong wid it but little gecko was wondering which rubbish bins in da estate dat mutt had been scavenging on prior to being slaughtered ;p

Ok, now little gecko has already tried fertilized duck eggs and dog meat. Wads next?? Da viet lizard made another revelation after da feast...

"Boss ah... do ya know dat cat meat is even more prized and tender??" LOL

Current Location: cafe iguana
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: Eat It
17 July 2009 @ 07:04 pm
Little gecko was facing a shortage of lizardpower weeks ago, so he 'borrowed' some foreign lizards from a friend's company. Dis time, da foreign lizards hail from Burma. Noticed little gecko doesn't refer to da country by its present name, Myanmar but by its colonial name. Reason being da present name was adopted by da military government when it came into power in 1989. Little gecko does not support da present military government because of its violations of human rights and da democratic process.

Pardon da grainy pics but dis abt da best little gecko could do wid his lousy china made phone. Kekekeke....So little gecko picked up a few burmese phrases from a friend and soon he could mutter a little wid da burmese lizards as dey could speak Malay too. And when they were comfortable wid little gecko, da conversation drifted over to politics... Kekekeke...

Little gecko asked dem if life was tough in Burma and whether lizards lived under constant fear of da military police and there's no freedom of movement etc. To his surprise, dey said life was ok, everyone was contented albeit poor. Dat dey could go about their ways and da fact dat dey could travel to work here in da rainforest showed there's no restriction of movement.

It sets little gecko wondering... To wad extent of wad we read in da papers are real? Is there any exaggeration? Little gecko is not saying dat all's fine and dandy in Burma but could our impressions of Burma be a little misguided just as many in da west still thinks S'pore is a police state and totally lacking in personal freedom plus no chewing of gums etc...?? Little gecko's sure those of you who occasionally meet foreigners will know wad he means. ;p

So now, should little gecko start referrng to da country as Myanmar instead of Burma? Btw, hail Aung Sang Suu Kyi!! Kekeke....
Tags: ,
Current Location: rainforest
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
21 June 2009 @ 12:15 pm
Can someone's joy bring you tears and can someone's tears bring you joy? Apparently it can... Little gecko experienced 2 of life's paradoxes recently....

The first was a video sent to little gecko recently. Someone of you might have received it already via forwarded email. Da smiles and joys of da little kids could bring one to tears. Hope that it will make you think twice about wasting food...


What about someone's tears bringing you joy? Little gecko experienced it last week too.... Little gecko was on holiday wid some of his viet lizards in Malacca last weekend as da reptile workshop was shut for a long weekend.

While jostling thru da crowded Jonker Street that evening, one of da viet lizards came across a fortune teller and he decided he wanted to have his fortune told. 10 mins later, he joined da rest of us in hunting for bargains but little gecko noticed he had become reticent da rest of dat evening....  He confessed he was quite shock at how accurate da fortune teller was able to tell his past... and he was equally surprised at wad he revealed about da future... So little gecko brought him aside and tried to cheer him up by saying dat we too can determine our destiny in life blah blah. In jest, little gecko told his viet lizard da only question he should have asked da fortune teller for dat RM10 he parted wid was whether he has a future in little gecko's company. Dat's wen da viet lizard revealed dat was exactly wad he had asked da fortune teller... 

His eyes became teary as he revealed da soothesayer had told him to stick to his present job and with little gecko cos it would greatly change his future... Next came all dat sorry for running away in da past and causing little gecko anguish blah blah.... Haiz, little gecko began sobbing too... for once little gecko felt vindicated... Although little gecko did not blog about da negative aspect so far, some of ya might have known dat it has been a long and tiring journey these 2 years having dis bunch of viet lizards working at da reptile workshop. Since dat night, little gecko felt vindicated.. And little gecko slept rather well dat night...Kekekeke....

So wad does da future hold for little gecko den? Little gecko ain't paying RM10 to consult a fortune teller. Maybe those years of christianity indoctrination has caused little gecko to associate fortune telling wid devil worshipping... Anyway, if fate dictates one to a life of hardship, den wad can ya do about it? Well, little gecko says embrace wadever comes along. Make da best of da situation. All things happen for a reason... Kekekeke....
Current Location: cafe iguana
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
17 May 2009 @ 11:01 pm

As some of you might know, little gecko suffers from low blood pressure. And these low blood pressure episodes have been getting more frequent lately. So one day, one of little gecko's viet lizard workers had dis 'guaranteed to cure' home remedy from Hanoi.... Trung Vit Lon or better known by its pinoy name Balut. Dey eat it back home to boost their libido too. Kekekeke....

It is fertilized duck egg of about 17days old. Oh wad da heck, after da doctors here in da rainforest said da only cure is to eat more salty food and drink 100PLUS, wad is downing a fertilized duck's egg, rite? Kekekeke....

A week later, dat viet lizard came to da office bearing da precious consignment of trung vit lon which came from some obscure farm some 30km away in Ulu Tiram. Little gecko decides to buy da eggs over from him instead of accepting it as a gift just in case da viet lizard would be offended if little gecko should decide to throw da eggs away ;) Da instructions given were :

1) Store da eggs at room temp because da foetus is still alive. Keeping them in da fridge would kill da duckling hence rendering da eggs bad after a while.

2) Dun store it any where warm too or da eggs will hatch within days.

3) Boil for about 15mins before consumption.

With dat said, little gecko began his culinary adventure... Kekekekeke......

Ok, dey look just like normal duck eggs. 2 to be taken a day from effectiveness. 10 eggs for RM10.  Little gecko decides to try just one for a start...

Notice ya can see some black portion thru da shell. Dat should be da duckie rite? Kekekeke....

After some boiling, little gecko was ready for his first taste of trung vit lon! First ya break da top portion of da egg, add some salt to taste and suck out da juices or embryonic fluid. A pong greeted little gecko when da shells broke open. Da juice was still palatable albeit a little strange in taste. Think of century eggs but wid da pong concentrated 5 times over :o Ok, ya see only da white, so dat's still safe. Nothing however prepared little gecko for wad's to come though...

Even da shell membranes came laden wid blood vessels. And wads dat lining da yolk? A severed vein? 
 And why are da blood vessels where da egg white is still a fresh blood red in color?? :o :o

White first or yolk first or... duckie first? Little gecko decided to go wid da safest option... da white. Added lots of Maggi chicken soup powder to mask any funny taste from da egg and.... kaoz, leave da white out if you can! It was like chewing on a piece of rubber tire! It took over 2 mintues just to down da white and of coz you could taste da funny stuffs by den! Eeeewwww.........

Wads left looked rather disgusting. Little gecko decided to eat da yolk first wid mouthfuls of fried rice courtesy of some lizard aunties... Again sprinkle wid generous amounts of maggi chicken soup powder.... Surprisingly, da yolk was soft and easy to swallow. Phew!!!

Ok, how is one gonna eat dat bird!!?? Will da bones be hard? Will there be a strong taste of liver and other internal organs? Will da feathers be easy to swallow!!?? again, little gecko gave da duckling a good powder bath of maggi seasoning before psyching himself to think dat it is like eating anchovies... Ya eat anchovies c/w heads and tails rite? Ya eat those yummy Long Beach Seafood's deep fried crispy baby squids whole too rite?

In the end, da bird took less dan a min to go down little gecko's throat.... wid lots of spoonful of fried rice and lots jumping up and down as if da jumping and flinching wid make any disgusting thoughts go away. It didn't, da vile taste lingered like a durian for over an hour :o

1 egg downed... and 9 more to go... Verdict? Has little gecko's blood pressure been raised??! After 3 eggs, little gecko gave da balance back to his viet lizard telling him his blood pressure has miraculously been cured.

Ok, some of you skeptics may think this is all an exaggeration. Below is a youtube file of a pinoy lizard attempting his first balut. You'd think consuming these eggs would come as second nature to dem rite? Think again... little gecko's reaction was exactly da same....



Wads next? Maybe little gecko can take part in Fear Factor liao. Kekekeke....

Current Location: cafe iguana
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Eat It